Lydia’s Story

Lydia’s (pseudonym) husband was a drug addict. He used to beat her up and send her every night to look for money, so he could buy more drugs. Lydia would knock on the neighbors’ doors for help - it is a miracle she did not end up as a prostitute. A few years ago her husband took one of their kids (6.5 years old) for a ride, while he was stoned. He had an accident, and the son was taken to intensive care. He never made it. He eventually died.

One evening 6 years ago Lydia was on the streets again, looking for money for her violent husband. Her two older sons saw her and decided this cannot go on anymore. The oldest son went back home, took a knife and stubbed his dad to death.

He is serving a life sentence now. He was born again a while ago, and people who minister to him in jail say that he has the sweetest and very quite personality. Lydia’s son understands now that he chose the wrong option, but he also says that back then he felt that it was just a matter of time before another one in the family was going to pay with his life.

Tammy is going to help Lydia appeal for pardoning. This coming May Israel will celebrate its 60th anniversary, and pardoning will be broader than usual. Lydia’s son fits the requirements for such an appeal, and Lydia hopes and prays that this will be an “acceptable year of the Lord” (Isa. 61:2), and that He will set this prisoner free.

Lydia lives now with her late husband’s family (not the best option, but this is all she can afford herself since she is paying off the many debts he had). She is working in a few jobs in order to pay them off and raise up the other 3 children she has (22, 17 and 14 years old).

Ivon’s Story

Ivon’s story is such a tangled one - I am struggling to even put it in words in a way that will make sense. About 16 years ago her husband started forcing her (using violence) to join him to his church in Latvia. Against her own will she attended church for many years. One day her daughter was so sick, and Ivon cried out to the Lord on her behalf and gave her life to him.

A few years ago her husband committed adultery with Ivon’s best friend. By then he was a leader in that church, which did not rebuke him and kept him in his position.

Sometime later her husband left her and married this friend, who was 7 months pregnant. He is still serving in his church. You can imagine how Ivon feels about spiritual leadership or intimate friendships.

She immigrated to Israel with her daughter (17) and son (13), who despise her for her weak personality, and treat her with violence and rudeness (her son actually beats her up). Looking for help Ivon called a social worker, and asked her to teach her how to discipline her kids. Well, the social worker ordered to take the son from her and send him to a boarding school.

He was abused there, and only after the social worker realized this is not helping, he came back home - but in a worse situation. This was another stone in the monstrous castle of Ivon’s mistrust of authorities.

Her husband stayed in Latvia with his new family. He communicates with the kids almost daily through a camera connected to the internet. Ivon says it feels like his long hand is everywhere in the house. He tells the kids that he curses her and the house, and apparently - things do break and nothing seems to work for her.

Ivon was so desperate this weekend, to the point she was willing to take one more risk and share this with me. She approached me this past weekend after I taught on curses, bondages and inner vows, and described herself as a vessel tangled within and without.

The power to bind and loose

“Whatever you bind on earth”, Yeshua told His disciples, “will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven” (Matt. 18:18).

For years I was taught that this principle applies to our spiritual warfare - that we can bind and loose the power that evil spirits try to exercise in our lives. This weekend I chose to apply these words to the power that we have upon ourselves. Meaning, what we bind in ourselves on earth with our own mouths or thoughts blocks even heaven’s reach to us. However, when we loose ourselves on earth, heaven can fully touch and heal us.

Many of the women we work with have been traumatized in their childhood and later on, as adults. Sexual abuse, violence, emotional torment, neglect, rejection, alcohol and drugs, death and losses - the more we get to know them and listen to their stories, the more we are dumbfounded by the horror they live in. Most of them have horrific memories, and for many - like Lydia and Ivon - the horror is also a part of their present, not just their past.

When a little girl is traumatized again and again, she tries to protect her heart. As a child she knows she is too helpless to change her circumstances, so she finds comfort and some hope in promising herself that when she will grow up, certain scenarios will not be a part of her life. For example, if men abused her, she might swear that she will never let men get too close. Or if she had no control over her life as a child, she can promise swear she will always be in control, etc.

She makes these “promises” without being aware of it. But these words sent from her mind to her will serve like a cork - blocking her heart from being hurt. The problem is that these “corks” don’t only keep the bad things away (actually, they do not do this at all, it is only an illusion of a better future), but they also keep the good out. They block God’s ability to work in this area in that girl’s life. When she grows up she may marry, but she will not let her husband get too close to her, or she may be in full control under all circumstances.

The Bible calls it “a heart of stone” or a “hardened heart”. The more modern term is “inner vows” or “blockages”. The Hebrew OT speaks of two kinds of inner vows: a vow to do something (“ne-der”), and a vow not to do something (“ee-sar”, mistranslated into English as “agreement” in Numbers 30). “Ee-sar” means something forbidden. By the way, this is the same word Yeshua used in Matthew 18:18, which I refered to above. In Mathew it is translated as “binding”.

What is my point? With our very own mouths or thoughts we can bind our own hearts through vows and “ee-sars”. As long as these operate in us, the Holy Spirit - who is a gentleman and never forces God’s will on us - will not remove these blockages without our co-operation. The good news is that the verse in Mathew 18 does not end there. It goes on to say that with our very own mouths we can also break these blockages and untie ourselves, so that God’s hand can go deeper into our hearts and heal us.

How did we approach it this weekend?

During the past weekend we focused on those traumas and on the way to be released from those blockages. The hearts of Ivon, Lydia and the other participants were so open. Our team shared from our own experience, and the women responded with a willingness to walk this path, and leave the past where it belongs.

It was powerful, but painful as well - to watch those heavy tears, to hear those horrible stories, to see God’s mighty hand desiring to lift them all up, if they will only humble themselves and submit to it.

We also spoke on Feminine identity and sexual purity - major issues in the lives of women who tasted the bad side of life. We also taught on boundaries - a major stronghold in the lives of women whose very own skin did not keep away various invaders. And we taught about hearing God’s voice and spiritual deception.

God was so evident in His presence among us, as if He was saying: “I saw it all when it happened, I was there when you all blocked your hearts, and I am here to undo and fill these shameful places with my glory”.

Two out of many

Lydia’s and Ivon’s stories are just two, out of dozens we hear each weekend. The deeper we go with our ministry, the deeper levels of trust are being built in our participants. As we share not only our victories, but also our weaknesses and failures, they realize victory on earth is a process, not just a one-time miracle.

This morning I heard the most flattering compliment. One of the mentors called and said that when she hears God’s Word coming through our mouths, she desires it as well. She said it is like watching a person eating something tasty and craving for the same thing.
O, Lord, may your Word in our mouths and on our paths be always so tasty and so abundant, so that hungry, starving people will come and dine and be filled. What else can I ask for in ministry?

My prayer for you - dear readers - is the same. That God’s Word will always be tasty to you, weather it is found in Leviticus or in John, weather it is a romantic verse in Song of Songs or a reproaching one in one of the epistles. All these facets of Yeshua’s personality ought to dwell in the most inner parts of our being, not just fill up our heads and satisfy our curiosity.

So when you think about us or about the women in the workshop, please pray for a full freedom, for all these tangling things to be broken and revealed and removed, so that God’s mighty hand will be able to reach out into the innermost of their beings, and bring light into places that lived in darkness for decades. I hope and pray that next time I share with you about Lydia and Ivon, the story will be lighter amd lighted.

Preparing for the final weekend

The final weekend of the workshop will be on March 28th-29th. We will focus on three problematic areas that are typical to a broken family: child rearing; sour relationship; finances. Usually single parents come for help because they struggle in one of these areas. Most believers who desire to help them focus on the painful need, instead of helping them find out what is the Lord trying to teach through this need. We purposely leave these topics to the end of the workshop, since without the tools we gave them all these months, the last weekend would serve only as a bandage. Most of the women are able by now to not focus on the need itself, but on what the Lord wants to tell them through it about Him and about themselves.

We have a few lessons to write, a few more chapters of the book to be put together, mentors to follow up on and a couple of home visits. This will certainly keep our month full.

Thank you for praying for us along these lines, Orna and the team.